Best of Darwinism
The human race is doomed. In case you needed further proof that part of the human race is doomed, here are some instructions from labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer:
- Do not use while sleeping.
On a a bag of Fritos:
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
- Directions: Use like regular soap.
On Swan frozen dinners:
- Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
- Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
- Do not turn upside down. (Printed on bottom of box.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
- Product will be hot after heating.
On package for a Rowenta Iron:
- Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
- Do not drive a car or operate machinery.
On Nytol (a sleep aid):
- Warning: May cause drowsiness!
On a Korean kitchen knife:
- Warning: Keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
- For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's Peanuts:
- Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
The human race is doomed. In case you needed further proof that part of the human race is doomed, here are some instructions from labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer:
- Do not use while sleeping.
On a a bag of Fritos:
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
- Directions: Use like regular soap.
On Swan frozen dinners:
- Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
- Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
- Do not turn upside down. (Printed on bottom of box.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
- Product will be hot after heating.
On package for a Rowenta Iron:
- Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
- Do not drive a car or operate machinery.
On Nytol (a sleep aid):
- Warning: May cause drowsiness!
On a Korean kitchen knife:
- Warning: Keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
- For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's Peanuts:
- Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
